Mobile Monday: Unpleasant Horse

Looking for a fast-paced, competitive and fun mobile game at the expense of cute high-fantasy creatures? Then you my friend have extremely specific tastes, and should look no further than 4th and Battery's Unpleasant Horseavailable for free on the iOS App Store! Unpleasant Horse mixes the addictive high-flying action of games like Tiny Wings or Titan Lunch Retaliation with the competitive scoring and the absurd pony genocide that we have all grown to love.   

You read it right, pony genocide. As the player you take control of the title character, the unpleasant horse, as he flies though a beautifully cartoony sky wreaking havoc on all that opposes him (mostly small birds, and flying ponies worthy of Friendship is Magic). The ultimate goal is to get further and further across the sunny landscape by jumping on clouds, ponies and birds and raising your score. Clouds give you a small bonus to your score and give you a jump off point to allow you to keep moving forward. Birds don't stop you, but hitting one gives you a score bonus and a feather that gives you an extra jump in the air. Which just leaves the ponies, which are what makes this game interesting.. and kind super messed up.

The ponies, and their subsequent gruesome deaths are really what makes this game this game. You see, you have to keep jumping and moving forward because if you hit the ground you lose. But, in the game the ground is made up entirely of spinning meat grinder blades capable of reducing even the most adorable of adversaries into bones and red stuff. This is the highest scoring mechanic in the game: jumping on a pony, riding it to the ground and grinding it into pieces until there's just enough time for a last second escape. Seriously, I wasn't kidding, its seriously messed up if you think about it, but the cartoony charm and sillyness that Popcap has become famous for really rings true, and allows you to look past the disgusting absurdity to the amazing fun times to be had!

This game is fun for.. well.. MOST ages and brony haters everywhere and is an excellent as both a gaming quick-fix and a long term high score game. And at the low low price of free, there really is no reason why an iOS owner shouldn't at least give this game a good ol college try. I promise you that you will not be disappointed... even if a little disgusted...

Comments

[Mike]

The best part is when the ponies cry...