Color Blind Storytime: Halo 2

Like many eager young men across the US at midnight on November 9th, 2004 I waited in a long line at a mall just to get my hands on Halo 2 the moment it was released. Little did I know that this would turn into the first in a long, downward spiral of first person shooters wherein the coloration and texture hit the sweetspot that allowed for extremely non-colorblind-friendly imagery.

This was really the first time in the "Modern Era" of 3d games that I really noticed a major problem with my color blindness. The leap in the graphics engine from Halo: Combat Evolved to Halo 2 was quite a drastic change despite being on the same console and only a few years apart. The original Halo had, for the time, amazing graphics and beautiful environments, but most of the outdoor parts were high-contrast and featured a bright blue sky, bright green grass and a multitude of differing colors that really made me appreciate the present and future of games, and it wasn't impossible to play! In contrast, Halo 2 started to move more towards the gritty realism with active lighting and glow and my least favorite gaming trend: lots of brown. I mean, and there were A LOT of locations in the game with beautiful visuals, but at the same time it added more and more unfriendly coloration, especially in multiplayer.

This started a famous trend amongst my friends that almost NEVER worked out in my favor. The biggest egregious failure in color blind friendly design had to be the map 'Burial Mounds' and it became the basis for a famous game type that I have decided to call "let's screw Justin." If you aren't familiar with the map, it's a big, washed out brown map full of brown floors and brown walls and brown rocks. So for happy fun time we at one point decided to do green team vs. brown team on this map and it created the perfect storm of colors. The result: essentially everyone was invisible, even at close range. It was like playing with everyone else having Active Camo but me, and it was hilarious... for about 17 seconds. This did not get played all the time, but for the rest of our Halo 2 LAN party career it became a running joke and was frequently suggested as a game type, much to my chagrin. And still to this day, even though we dont all play games like we used to, I can imagine people would not hesitate to suggest it when we bust out an old game. 

I'm really excited to see more an more companies adding color blind modes to help us out, but it is still a problem in the industry as a whole. I plan on telling more of these stories over time, they seem entertaining to me, maybe I can get some laughs and address some issues. Next time: How I spent a decade thinking something was brown, how it turned out to be green, and how it BLEW MY F@#%*& MIND!

Looking Forward: Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale

After hearing about it again recently on The Super Joystiq Podcast, and it being so similar to a series near and dear to my heart, I’ve decided to write a post about Sony’s new party fighting game “Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale.”  Obviously since I have not yet struck gold and gotten a legitimate position in the pantheon of games journalists, this article is going to be written purely on gameplay videos, previews and my own uncreative nonsense so keep that in mind upon further reading.

If this is the first you are hearing of this game, and you aren’t my mother or non-gamer friends who read this to support me, I would be extremely surprised. Since E3 there has been a lot of hype surrounding Battle Royal a.k.a. Sony’s answer to Super Smash Bros. I really don’t like generalizing about new games, especially when they are filling a necessary niche, but that’s really all the game is.  Speaking frankly, the game is Smash Bros with classic and new age Playstation characters. I don’t want to sit here and do a compare and contrast paper about the two games, but really its damn near impossible not to.  Go watch the Giantbomb Quick Look about it, and they even admit that it just IS Smash with some slightly tweaked mechanics. The game looks like fun, and the platform has many exclusive characters with powerful namesakes, so really there is no reason they shouldn’t make this game. But, I just don’t think it is going to be the hyped up masterpiece that the internet is trying to make it out to be.

Mechanics
At a glance, you could look at a normal match of this game and think it was a timed match of Smash Bros. But.. If you look deeper and more closely you will notice that actually what is being played is a game of Smash Bros that isn’t as good.  The basic mechanics are the same: you have 2-4 players, on a stage with various elements from different games, beating the crap out of each other with varying types and strengths of attacks until time runs out and a winner is declared. There are variations between specifics on scoring, attacks and items but the goal is the same. Everyone has attacks unique to their character of various ranges and strengths, but instead of having hit points that go down or a percentage of taken damage that goes up, you simply have no death conditions outside of specific special abilities. Your basic attacks and “Damage” you do to other players in the form of filling up a special bar by your name up to three levels. Each level grants an increasingly more powerful special attack, something akin to a special attack, a smash attack and a final smash in Brawl, and these are the ONLY attacks in the game capable of killing another player.  While I applaud the idea of not just flat out copying what Smash Bros. has done, something about this mechanic just doesn’t sit well with me. In a very competitive game of smash, every single hit you take matters and a minor difference in percentage can make or break an entire life. Here, while getting hit contributes to an enemy’s special bar, it appears to have no effect on you.  So you can take as much damage as you want without consequence as long as you don’t get hit by a special. And the specials themselves are bothersome in their own right. When each character only has a total of 3 abilities that can kill other players, balance is key. When there are only a limited number of abilities that score points, if any character has a slightly superior combination of abilities and specials, the community will not hesitate to all use the same character because for example, that character’s level  three special is guaranteed 4+ kills, and no one else’s special is capable of  doing that, there is no reason not to play that character. This is doubly so in the as yet to be shown stock mode wherein the players are given a limited number of lives. A special that automatically kills everyone on the screen or allows for more than one kill per individual person is a balancing nightmare where someone could eliminate an entire player with more than one life by killing them multiple times with the same ability. (see Sly Cooper’s level 3 smash that can easily obtain 4 kills in one use)Which brings the point of the characters themselves, and that whole interesting mismatch..

Characters
When it comes to a history of characters to choose from, the Playstation may not have the iconic character options that someone like Nintendo does, but it does have a great quantity of well loved and suited characters. Playstation still has a rich history running back to the mid 90s in addition to its modern exclusives, and it shows in the character choices so far announced for the game. Since seeing the first images and watching people play the game there has just been something that seemed off to me about it. I know it really doesnt make any more sense for Sonic to be fighting Mario than for Sweet Tooth to be fighting Sly Cooper, but something about the clashing asthetic and history of characters like this just does not sit well with me. The Nintendo universe, while not all inclusive, has such similar styles and such a long past that the idea of characters from different titles fighting each-other just makes sense for some reason. I mean a large portion of the characters are from the mario series, and the rest of the characters fit in really well even though they come from elsewhere. But when I see a screen where Parappa is Jump-Kick-Choping the legendary god-killer Kratos while The Thievius Raccoonus is roll-dodging away from a hail of Colonel Radec's gunfire I just leave the experience with a bad taste in my mouth. Some of these characters have extensive stories of their own so deep that the idea of them engaging in a fruitless battle over nothing seems not only silly, but also in my humble opinion devalues the characters on some level. Most of Nintendo's characters are silent protagonists, with limited backstory and you can summarize a large portion of their storylines to "defeat bosses, save princesses." While as games as a whole this would normally be something I would say works to their detriment, it really makes the idea of them punching eachother in the face repeatedly seem more believeable.

Conclusion
As a whole, the game looks like it could be good casual party fun, and you have achieved Playstation Fan-Boy status I cannot tell you to not buy this game. But, honestly all that writing this is doing to me is making me want to grab some friends, grab some beers, dig out the Gamecube controllers, boot up Smash Bros. Melee and just have a blast! And if I can already do that with 3 games I already own, on 3 systems I already own, why would I want to buy it again, which characters I dont like as much? The answer: I dont.

Mobile Monday: Unpleasant Horse

Looking for a fast-paced, competitive and fun mobile game at the expense of cute high-fantasy creatures? Then you my friend have extremely specific tastes, and should look no further than 4th and Battery's Unpleasant Horseavailable for free on the iOS App Store! Unpleasant Horse mixes the addictive high-flying action of games like Tiny Wings or Titan Lunch Retaliation with the competitive scoring and the absurd pony genocide that we have all grown to love.   

You read it right, pony genocide. As the player you take control of the title character, the unpleasant horse, as he flies though a beautifully cartoony sky wreaking havoc on all that opposes him (mostly small birds, and flying ponies worthy of Friendship is Magic). The ultimate goal is to get further and further across the sunny landscape by jumping on clouds, ponies and birds and raising your score. Clouds give you a small bonus to your score and give you a jump off point to allow you to keep moving forward. Birds don't stop you, but hitting one gives you a score bonus and a feather that gives you an extra jump in the air. Which just leaves the ponies, which are what makes this game interesting.. and kind super messed up.

The ponies, and their subsequent gruesome deaths are really what makes this game this game. You see, you have to keep jumping and moving forward because if you hit the ground you lose. But, in the game the ground is made up entirely of spinning meat grinder blades capable of reducing even the most adorable of adversaries into bones and red stuff. This is the highest scoring mechanic in the game: jumping on a pony, riding it to the ground and grinding it into pieces until there's just enough time for a last second escape. Seriously, I wasn't kidding, its seriously messed up if you think about it, but the cartoony charm and sillyness that Popcap has become famous for really rings true, and allows you to look past the disgusting absurdity to the amazing fun times to be had!

This game is fun for.. well.. MOST ages and brony haters everywhere and is an excellent as both a gaming quick-fix and a long term high score game. And at the low low price of free, there really is no reason why an iOS owner shouldn't at least give this game a good ol college try. I promise you that you will not be disappointed... even if a little disgusted...

If You Don't Have a Controller, Don't Buy Dark Souls PC

So after hearing about the nightmare that is the PC controls on the recent Steam release of Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition I decided that I had to check it out. From Software had been saying from the start how many problems they had in making the transition from Console to PC, but never would I have imagined that it would have ended so poorly. Simplly put, the controls on mouse and keyboard are finger breakingly bad. The normal WASD movement keys that have become the movement standard, but beyond that things get a little crazy. The Camera controls that coincide with the right analog stick on the controller are actually assigned to I, J, K and L by default. This makes the standard controls a no-mouse game that controls as if you were just doing WASD on the keyboard twice. The remainder of the buttons are strewn throughout the remaining keys seemingly arbitrarily and there are so many to remember I could not imagine playing this game without a quick look control cheat sheet close by.

This is seriously the keys you use just for movement, combat and menus. Working in tandem with how extremely challenging the game is itself, playing with these controls is figuritively impossible. Seriously, with even the most basic of combat in this game posing a significant challenge, playing in this fashion will end with even more frustrating anger, broken objects and shattered dreams.  

Dark Souls as a game is still amazing and you can find me past review on it here. If you have not already played it go get it. I am extremely excited the non-consoles will finally get to experience it, and even thought it has its flaws, it is a worthwhile experience through and through. But, I just want to warn you that if you don't already have one, go pick up an Xbox controller too use it on your PC. You'll be happy, I'll be happy, heck even Microsoft will be happy. And you never no when you might use it next, there are many Steam titles that have native support for it, and there are a lot of games, especially third-person action titles that are really well suited for it. If you don't, You just might end up with broken fingers and a bad game experience, neither of which I can endorse as an able-minded gamer. Get the game, get killed and by merry!

Mists of Pandaria Will Probably Bring Me Back to Wow

For the first time in its nearly 8 year lifespan, there will be an expansion pack release this coming September that I am not super gung-ho and excited about. I have a long and colored past revolving around World of Warcraft, and to this day I can stay with pretty good certainty that it is far and away the game that I have spent the most number of hours on over my gaming career. Some of my favorite gaming related memories, and darkest saddest parts of my life are completely centralized on the thousands of hours I have spent conquering evil and exploring the world of Azeroth. It is because of that dichotomy of nostalgia and hatred that I finally quit the game cold turkey a little less than a year ago, and why I will also likely be going back some time after Mists of Panderia.

There is a lot of talk in the games industry and amongst the MMO playing population that World of Warcraft is dying. Horror stories about millions of players, the entire population of other MMOs, leaving WoW or just the MMO space in general. While this obviously is something to be noted, I wouldn’t consider that meaning the game is dying, and even if it is, who cares? Blizzard entertainment is working on a new MMO, and the game has been out for almost 8 years and even AFTER millions of players left, it is still far and away the most popular MMO. Even a game like The Old Republic, which had the backing of an exceptionally large and talented development team, millions of dollars, a MASSIVE existing fan base in the Star Wars universe, and over 5 years of development time, and yet in less than a year is has already announced going free to play and has lost proportionally more population than WoW in less than one eighth of the time. So, with the environment of video games and the MMO space changing, its important for blizzard to do the same thing as they always do, but also do things a bit differently, exactly what I see for the Panderia expansion.

It has been almost two years since the release of the most recent WoW expansion, Cataclysm and despite regular downloaded content updates; the final endgame release of the expansion is already nearing a year old. For the ‘hardcore’ market of players, clearing the same endgame content for 9+ months can get excruciatingly boring, and when I was in that situation the only thing really keeping me around was the social aspects of playing with my friends, and the general security blanket of regularity that is scheduled raid time. So in the sense that the content is exceptionally dated, and everyone already has every character class to level 85, its right about time for a new expansion. A new playable race, a new class, a new continent, expanded level cap, all of the expansion pack essentials that will keep players playing and bring old players back. This is the case wherein they are doing all the same things as everyone expects from a new expansion, but at the same time there is more here than there appears.

The class they are adding to the game finally adds another healer to the roster, a must needed addition. The continent is a new and interesting chain of islands that has an Asian themed aesthetic that is a breath of fresh air when compared to the dark browns and reds that was Cataclysm. And the Pandaren, a race of silly drunk panda people (possibly my favorite fantasy race of all time) add something completely new to the mix in that you can ally with both of the game’s factions after the starting area. This is something that not only have we never seen, but also at one point Blizzard publicly admitted that they NEVER planned on doing.

In the case of this new and interesting content, even when built on the same basic ideas that the game has been crapping out since 2004, I know that I will eventually go back to WoW to play the Mists of Pandaria Expansion. I absolutely will not get back into raiding, but I can honestly say that I will likely level my main character up to max, start a panda monk and still probably put more hours into it than plenty of other games I paid a full sixty bucks on. I know it doesn’t make any sense, and I know I am paying money for more of the same, but the world is immersive, the story is actually interesting and Blizzard knows how to put out games worth my time. I know I can play the game, enjoy the experience and stop.  If you can grow up and play an MMO like you would every other game, enjoy it from time to time and move on with your life, I think you are a better gamer and person for it.